Online dating scams are an issue that has grown exponentially in recent years. Total losses to romance scams in the US have eclipsed $1 billion three times in the last five years. With how much information we put on dating platforms and social media, scammers have the ability to “swipe right” on individuals they believe will be susceptible to their ploys. We are left vulnerable to the nefarious acts of cybercriminals simply for our innate desire to connect with others as social creatures. However, understanding the potential risks and knowing how to protect yourself can help you avoid online dating scams.
What Are Online Dating Scams and How Do They Work?
“Online dating scam” is an encompassing term that describes any scheme used to exploit individuals online. However, the term also commonly describes scams that take advantage of those looking for a virtual romantic connection. Victims can become blinded by their emotions, leaving them susceptible to the manipulation of a malicious actor. These schemes can last anywhere from a few days to several months and even years. Many scammers spend extended periods of time building trust before asking for money or personal information. The longer the relationship continues, the more convincing their story often becomes. These ploys are typically carried out by doing the following:
- Using a fictitious profile to pose as a potential romantic suitor on social media or dating platforms – a common tactic in social media scams. This is also known as catfishing.
- Employing social engineering techniques to gain the target’s trust and build an emotional bond before committing some form of dating app blackmail.
Why Smart People Fall for Online Dating Scams
While strong cybersecurity awareness can help deter threats, anyone can fall victim to an online dating scam. These schemes succeed because perpetrators take time to build trust before escalating. They study their victims, create believable stories, and exploit emotions to establish a fictitious relationship that can be used to target sensitive information or leveraged for financial gain.
Many victims don’t realize they’re being manipulated until money has already been sent or personal information has been shared. Going through a divorce, losing a spouse, or simply looking for companionship does not make someone gullible; it makes them human. Understanding how scammers build emotional trust is one of the best ways to recognize a dating scam before it causes financial or emotional harm.
The Most Common Online Dating Scams to Avoid
The first type of cybercrime is called a romance scam. In this dating scam, the perpetrator lures in their target through catfishing or manipulation. They quickly form a relationship and then begin asking for gifts and money after building trust. The following are three common romance scams to be aware of:
- Military Impersonation: According to the FTC, this is the most popular excuse used by scammers to not meet in person. As the name implies, military impersonation involves posing as a service member online to garner sympathy and establish relationships. Being a form of romance scam, they eventually request money for reasons such as being stuck in a war zone or needing funds to return home. They prey on individuals who have an appreciation for military service.
- Oil Rig Romance Scam: Similarly, oil rig scammers pose as forlorn workers stuck on an offshore worksite and target lonely, trusting individuals online. They will create excuses to not meet or video call, such as inclement weather or long hours of labor, while they build their dishonest relationship. They will then begin asking for money due to frozen credit cards, broken equipment, or to travel to see their victim.
- Sugar Daddy/Momma Scams: Sugar Daddies or Mommas are older individuals who pay a young person in exchange for companionship. This may sound like an opportunity that is too good to be true, and it often is. These scammers target people in financial distress, such as college students, and offer help. They may ask you to send funds first to prove your devotion or ask for your personal information to process transactions. They can then use this data for online blackmailor identity theft.
Sextortion Scams
This online dating scam is about exploiting those at their most vulnerable. Scammers begin by establishing a level of trust with the target before quickly turning the conversation sexual. They will request explicit photos and may even gain favor by sending “explicit content” first. Of course, in most cases, the content they send is not authentic or stolen. Once they’ve obtained the victim’s photos, they demand money with threats to expose them to friends, family, and professional contacts.
Investment Scams
This online dating scam is less about romance and more about money. Victims are catfished by internet dating fraudsters posing as wealthy, attractive individuals. They form a connection with the target before proposing an alleged investment opportunity that can make them rich.
Also known as “pig butchering” scams, these ploys often include fake investment websites that show large returns as a way to encourage further investment. In actuality, these websites extract the victim’s financial information and collect payments while denying requests to withdraw funds, mirroring the structure of other online investment scams.
Money Laundering Scams
Money laundering scams occur when the perpetrator coerces the victim to unwittingly transfer illegal funds. These crimes are commonly committed under the guise of sending money to a loved one or conducting a business deal. They may even openly ask the victim to commit fraud after establishing trust through social engineering, making them their “money mule”.
Escort Scams
You may come across an escort ad online and desire to pursue their services, only to be met with requests for money – a common setup in many escort scams. They may blackmail you with threats of sending their procurer to confront you or reporting your activity to authorities if solicitation is illegal in your area.
How to Spot the Signs of Online Dating Scams and Prevent Them Early
While each case is different, there are some consistent signs that can let you know if you’re being scammed while using dating apps and other platforms. One of the biggest red flags during the initial stages of a romance scam is when someone tries to build an emotional connection too quickly. Be cautious if they declare strong feelings within days, avoid showing their face, ask to move the conversation off the dating app, or start talking about sensitive topics early in the interaction.
If any of the following are happening to you, it may be time to break off your cyber relationship.
Love Bombing
Perpetrators of online dating scams move quickly. They often declare love early in the conversation and bombard you with compliments and affection. While some innocent flirting is expected in online relationships, be wary of individuals who come on too strong at an early stage of communication. This is also known as “love bombing”.
Excuses for Not Meeting in Person
If your courter has endless reasons for not showing their face, they likely aren’t who they say. Excuses for not meeting in person may include job obligations, military service, or inability to travel. They may explain an inability to join video calls due to poor internet service or not having a webcam.
Request for Money
Dating scammers often make requests for money or gifts after establishing a fraudulent relationship. They may also give you convincing reasons such as medical bills, travel expenses, or a family emergency.
Poor Grammar
Many of these cybercriminals live outside of the US. Specifically, many operations have been traced to the Ivory Coast, Philippines, Nigeria, or Russia. Be wary of profiles that claim to be native English speakers but struggle to articulate their messages.
They Often Avoid Video Calls
Online Dating Scammers avoid live video calls because showing their face could reveal that they are hiding behind a fake identity. Many use excuses such as a broken camera, poor internet, or work restrictions to avoid joining a call. Any repeated explanations to avoid seeing each other should be treated as a major warning sign.
How to Verify Someone You Meet Online
Connecting with new people online is normal and can be safe, but it’s important to confirm that they are who they claim to be before building trust and becoming emotionally or financially invested. You should:
- Schedule a live video call.
- Reverse search their profile photos.
- Compare information across multiple social media accounts.
- Review their account history for suspicious details or behavior.
- Watch for inconsistent stories about work, family, or location.
A legitimate person will generally be willing to verify their identity through reasonable requests. If they repeatedly avoid verification or become defensive when you ask them questions, it’s best to end the conversation.
How to spot AI-generated dating profiles or deepfake dating video calls
AI-generated dating profiles often contain small abnormalities when you examine them more closely. These may include inconsistent photos, limited profile history, unnatural conversations, or efforts to avoid live video calls. If they agree to join a video call, watch for delayed lip movements, unnatural facial expressions, or poor synchronization between speech and video.
A Real Online Dating Scam Case: The Story of Annette Ford
Annette Ford, a 57-year-old woman from Western Australia, lost her $780,000 life savings and her home after falling victim to two separate online dating scams. The first began when she joined the dating site “Plenty of Fish” after her husband of 33 years ended their marriage.
She quickly met a man going by the name of William. After months of conversation, William explained that he’d been attacked and mugged outside of his work site, landing him with a $5,000 hospital bill that he was unable to pay.
Once Ford offered financial assistance, the requests began coming in more rapidly. She grew suspicious and even confronted William with concerns that he was a scammer. However, he managed to dismiss these concerns and ultimately stole over $300,000 and drained her self-managed super fund.
Four years later, Ford was in contact with another dating scammer named Nelson on Facebook. He claimed to have a friend who worked for the FBI and initially asked for $2,500 to help with an investigation. Nelson then began sending her money to deposit into a Bitcoin ATM in a likely money laundering dating scam.
This gave the scammer access to Ford’s bank account and led to unauthorized transactions. She said that “Money was coming into my account and going out of my account that I wasn’t even aware of,” culminating in another $280,000 lost and two unsuccessful trips to try to visit him. After sustaining an injury overworking herself trying to restore her lost funds, Ford now relies on government benefits and is applying for disability support pension.
How to Avoid Online Dating Scams: Practical Safety Steps
The best way to combat online dating scams is to take precautionary measures – even if you’re using what many consider safe dating apps. Our experts suggest the following practices to avoid falling victim to a dating scheme.
- Verify Identities. Confirm that the person you are speaking with is actually who they claim. Perform a reverse image search on any images they have on their profile and be cautious of accounts that have been recently created.
- Never Send Money. Whether a scammer is blackmailing you or using social engineering tactics to coerce you, do not make any payments. Sad stories may tempt you to lend a helping hand, but you should never send money to somebody you’ve never met.
- Don’t Share Private Data. You should never exchange personal information online with anybody you don’t know. Sharing private or explicit content opens the door for cybercrimes like sextortion.
- Avoid Clicking Suspicious Links. Any attachments or URLs sent to you can contain malware that could infect your device and expose you to potential extortion. Refrain from opening anything from an unfamiliar sender.
- Use Video Chats to Confirm Identity. These are harder to fake than images or voice calls. However, the advancement of deepfake technology is allowing for more convincing video call forgery.
- Check for Inconsistencies. Many scammers are attacking multiple targets at once. If they can’t keep their story straight and constantly mix up information, it may be a sign that your online relationship is actually a dating scam.
- Report and Block Dating Scammers. If you haven’t relinquished any private information or funds to the scammer, you should block them and report their account to the platform’s system administrator. This can help have their account removed and prevent them from harming you or others. Many platforms, such as Instagram, will also block new accounts created with the same credentials.
What to Do If You Are a Victim of An Online Dating Scam
If you’ve already been targeted in a dating scam, you need to act quickly. You should proceed with the following course of action:
- Stop Communication. Don’t engage the dating scammer any further but refrain from blocking the account. Leave the conversation open until you have collected the necessary evidence and conducted a proper investigation.
- Take Inventory and Collect Evidence. Take screenshots and gather proof of any threats, transactions, manipulation tactics, and other data that will create a clear and undeniable timeline of the crimes committed against you.
- Report to Authorities and System Administrators. Begin with filing a police report with local law enforcement who may be able to help if the perpetrator is within their jurisdiction. If they can’t resolve the issue, the FTC and FBI have resources available that can assist you, such as the IC3 cybercrime database. They may also launch a dating scam investigation to find the perpetrator responsible. You can learn how to report criminals to the FBI in our article on reporting cybercriminals to the FBI.
- Secure Your Accounts. Update your passwords and login credentials. Check for any unauthorized login attempts. You should also review the privacy settings of your accounts on any platforms the scammer could have access to.
- Run a Malware Scan. It’s important to run a virus scan if you’ve opened any links or attachments that have been sent to you. You should also check your device for any programs that you have not installed.
- Seek Assistance from Cybersecurity Experts. Cybersecurity and digital forensics firms can help investigate and prevent future cyber-attacks. They may also be able to recover stolen funds depending on the payment method and how long it has been since the money transfer.
Should I delete my dating profile after being scammed?
This can be a step to consider in certain cases, but you should avoid deleting your profile until after you have already preserved critical evidence. Save usernames, profile information, and conversation logs first. Once you have documented all relevant data, you should report the account to the platform and update your passwords before deciding whether to remove your profile entirely.
Professional Help for Victims of Online Dating Scams
Digital Forensics Corp. is here to help in the event of falling victim to an online dating scam. Our team of experts have years of experience combatting sextortion and other online dating site scams on other online platforms.
We can take over communication with the scammer and help remove any leverage they have over you. We can also examine the metadata of content shared, identifying the location of the criminal, and helping bring them to justice.
If you believe you may be a victim of a dating scam, reach out to our Blackmail Helpline today for a complimentary and confidential consultation.
FAQ
Can dating scammers steal my identity without taking my money?
Some dating scammers are more interested in stealing your personal information to commit identity theft rather than targeting your money directly. They may collect details such as your full name, address, date of birth, or copies of identification documents. This information can then be used to open accounts, impersonate you, or commit fraud in your name.
Can scammers hack your phone through dating apps?
Simply using a dating app does not typically pose a hacking risk alone, but scammers may use these platforms as an avenue to trick you into allowing unauthorized access. Dating app scammers can send malicious links, fake verification pages, or infected attachments that install malware or steal your login information. This is why it’s important to never open unexpected links from someone you don’t know.
Can dating scammers hack your accounts using your phone?
If a scammer gains access to your device, they may manage to compromise accounts that are linked to it. This is typically done by stealing saved passwords, intercepting access codes, or resetting login credentials. You can better protect yourself by enabling two-factor authentication and never sharing security codes with anyone.
Chief Technology Officer (CTO)
Dr. Viktor Sobiecki
Currently serves as the Chief Technology Officer (CTO) at Digital Forensics Corporation, where responsibilities span the leadership of advanced cybersecurity initiatives, data breach incident responses, and corporate strategic planning.
